I learned a lot I felt a lot I loved a lot Now that’s over and done I hurt a lot I cried a lot I bled a lot Now I’m being reborn What a glorious gestation Curled up in the womb I knew everything What a lovely train station I waited for a while on my way to you You who I don’t even know yet Who I can never know unless I am awake Awake to my true purpose Love is but a vehicle to self-realization Awake to my true purpose Life is but a vehicle to self-realization

Look at the geese Flying in a V Full of certainty Always where they're supposed to be Going in and out Never with the shadow of a doubt Knowing where they're going I thought I was one of them Flying toward you then In my migration But where am I now? All alone, without Your currents to ride Your air to be inside Your currents to ride Your air to be inside

Where in the woods can I find you? Where in the thickets of my mind can I spot you? Can my heart burn a clearing for a meadow? Do you only appear when I want you? Or only when I am not trying to hold you? Grasp you, keep you close, if I let you go will you rise like wood in the water Wood in the water Nothing ever happens til I let you float over The current, watch you ride through the bend and out of sight And then I wonder if you are not just the wood but the river in itself In the water Feeling the cold truth rush over my fingers Feel my fist close in the only shape it knows And feel how it only contains constant change in the flow Where in the sea can you wash over me? Can I wait on the shore or must I plunge in the deep? Can I remain myself and still feel you all around me? Or can you hold all those waves in your own body? Can you carry the vastness of formless being? And mould it into a breathing form that wakes me early in the morning To go to work And kisses me On the cheek And what can I do With this new knowledge of the sea of you? Can I swim it? From shore to shore From my birth until death May I always know more Of your surface and depth With each wave that reflects the rise and fall of your breath

I’ve been walking the city streets Passing by all kinds of people The healthy and the broken and the wealthy and the homeless The lovers and the lonely and the seekers and the lost souls And I’ve been searching the faceless crowds For a familiar face in this town But when all I see are masks It’s hard to know my way around Yea when all I see are actors It’s hard to know if I’ve been found Have you found me Amidst the endless trees Have you seen me Between the thousand mirrors Could you suddenly see clearer Once I came up nearer Could you not feel what you’ve always known Til you held me close I’ve been talking to the friends I’ve made Asking questions, to each the same: How are you and who are you and what is your truer name? What’s your plan and where do you stand and what position do you play? I’ve been struggling to know right from wrong Slowly puzzling what I feel in my heart When the suffering all seems distant, as if across the sea I’m left wondering what it is that is happening to me Are you what lies beyond the pale In the field past good and evil Is the only way to be with you to open up my sail And let the winds of all directions direct my specific trail And will you meet me in that city built by all who truly listened And have followed intuition on their ships across the ocean To the island not divided by the lines they draw between us There’s a vision we’re all drawn to and if we let it, it will lead us To a place where we’re united, both the healthy and the broken, both the wealthy and the homeless, both the lovers and the lonely, both the seekers and the lost souls And I see now you have found me On this island in the vast sea For its always just beyond us, or beside us or within us Just waiting for us to open, just waiting to be freed

Even if I’m wrong And it’s not what I’m meant to do I might still meet you Even if it’s better to stay within this peace Who knows there this will lead? I’m right on time For this train to arrive Event if I’m meant to Do something else entirely This might be what I need Even if I’m stuck Always leaving home Forever wandering on I’m right on time For this train to arrive And I hope it takes me Straight to you A one-way ticket Straight through Even if I’m falling Backward through the sky I’m still up so high Even if I’m afraid Of not living out my purpose Just living is still worth it I'm right on time To be alive I'm right on time For this train to arrive

Thank you for everything For not working out Thank you for sticking With me throughout A year of fear, sickness, and drought For knowing when to go within And be without me Thank you for being you For letting me be me Thank you for seeing truth For speaking it free When you could have just As easily Kept it within In fear of being Without me Maybe someday you’ll be flying away to somewhere great and you’ll look down on me in my state and you’ll smile at the memory far below of what we had once long ago

Lyrics from Serenity by Edward Rowland Sill (1841-1887): Brook, Be still, - be still! Midnight's arch is broken In thy ceaseless ripples. Dark and cold below them Runs the troubled water, - Only on its bosom, Shimmering and trembling, Doth the glinted star-shine Sparkle and cease. Life, Be still, - be still! Boundless truth is shattered On thy hurrying current. Rest, with face uplifted, Calm, serenely quiet; Drink the deathless beauty - Thrills of love and wonder Sinking, shining, star-like; Till the mirrored heaven Hollow down within thee Holy deeps unfathomed, Where far thoughts go floating, And low voices wander Whispering peace.

Every time I open wide I get hurt deep inside My heart and it starts to part the seas And I start to walk through everything You must have sensed my opened eyes For then you opened wide yourself And you took my face into your mouth And you left your mark on my eyebrow Yea you hurt me good, but it's not your fault For I made myself vulnerable Saying to the world, here I am Exposed and open to the elements Even with the risk of getting bit Or love that is unrequited Or losing all that I have loved Just loving at all is good enough Just love at all is worth it

Looking at the river but the river was not flowing It was covered in an ice sheet which was blanketed in white snow It was pure no footprints no evidence of existence there And I felt my mind start to go blank as my eyes were filled with nothing but air Sitting on a snow bank that was once a river bank With a friend I’d known forever but we’d rarely ever hang And I told my friend to my left that I didn’t mind the rest That this season that we fight through forces us to accept We left footprints In the ski tracks We left snow angels In the pure white snow bank We left life behind For some peace of mind Before springtime Rest in the stillness With this old friend of mine Trudging through the deep snow back to wherever we came from My body was working hard but everything else was effortless Though the wind was blowing hard, the conversation was just flowing And the silences, like winter, were a respite from the rest of it all Climbing back to town my friend pointed out a mountain That was bathed in alpine glow from a sun that had just come out On the road with cars passing us by we stood there for a moment I had never known you could see the tallest hill around from this old town We left footprints In the ski tracks We left snow angels In the pure white snow bank We left life behind For some peace of mind Before springtime Rest in the stillness With this old friend of mine

Summer burns you Like a sudden burst of flame Upwards from the campfire Where it came and licked your face Life fills up Like a dam put in the river All the water becomes stiller And you float on there forever Til you burn up in the sun Til you become smoke that rises Above everyone As a sacrifice Years pass by Like a night spent with good friends Passing time remembering All of our shenanigans Soon we’ll grow old Like the rings within these trees And we’ll reach the canopy And see over everything Til our roots can hold no longer Til we fall out of the light And on the dark forest floor Become a sacrifice Providing for other life Letting baby trees grow tall Decomposing into soil Giving homes to other animals And when all the water we held inside Evaporates into the light The droplets will hang for a moment Creating a rainbow tent Sheltering the canopy That is my covenant Shining over everything Protecting this beautiful world Cycling life and death Every life ever lived Has given something great With each dying breath

Round We go round in cycles From flowing water to icicles And my heart it stops and it starts Pumping blood then freezing up Love It comes and it goes In one moment I miss you and the next I want to be alone, just me and my thoughts But then they get caught in their cycles And I need them to stop And I need you to come Into bed where it’s quiet and we can just talk about life How it goes up And then down In one moment there’s beauty and the next all of the lights are out And we’re dreaming Of wrestling with an angel who fell from above And the wrestling Starts to feel a little like making love And the loving Starts to burn the brittle cage around our beating hearts And the beating Like a wild animal starts to scare us and we cower like a child But that child In its wide-eyed innocence wants nothing more than to be held It’s a cycle It’s a cycle Coming back to you